Yesterday, we talked about becoming more mindful of the need to stay in the present moment, and the opportunities that are often found in difficult emotions, which might arise during the Winter holidays. (See here.)
In the Indian region of the Himalayas, one finds families living along the remote and inaccessible ancient paths, leading up to Mount Kailash, who seem to be untouched by many of the ills that affect present society. There are relatively few burglaries, almost no murders or violence, no wars, no unrest. When we visited there, it was not uncommon to find the front doors to people's homes left unlocked, even when they were going to be gone for days at a time.
We found the same thing in remote villages in Brazil, where, for example, a community of artisans work together to create intricately designed embroidered shirts, blouses, and childrens' wear, that is sold through groundbreaking fair trade efforts.
And while one would be tempted to say that it was the lack of technology there, I can tell you that the people of this village use laptops, cell phones and the Internet -- even though doing so requires a three-day journey to the top of a mountain, where they can reach a cellular tower's signal.
By contrast, when one travels to the larger cities near these two places, one finds high rates of violence, theft, and other crimes. The discontent and even depression of the people, even those living at greater or higher economic standards than those in the remote areas, is remarkable.
In our own society, we might find ourselves faced with certain triggers -- whether those are the metaphors, sounds, traditions or sights of the Winter holiday season; the first sign of flowers in Spring; the harvest moon; or the smell and sound of the ocean in Summer.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca wrote:
Wisdom allows nothing to be good that will not be so forever; no man to be happy but he that needs no other happiness but what he has within himself; no man to be great or powerful that is not master of himself.
The Great Rabbi prayed, "Let them all be one, just as You and I are are One." This was a reflection, I believe, of his Perennialist philosophy, which echoes the thoughts of the Buddha and the great philosopher, Socrates, who said, "Give me beauty in the inward soul; may the outward and the inward man be at one."
Like Buddha, Socrates and Jesus taught that no human condition is ever permanent. Perhaps, I think, the people living in these remote regions, realising this at a deep, even intrinsic level, do not allow their passions -- their grasping for pleasure and happiness, nor the attempts to avoid pain -- to distract them from the realisation of the impermanent nature of phenomena. They are neither overjoyed by good fortune, nor too scornful of misfortune.
Thoreau and Emerson both point out that each person is the creator of his or her own happiness. The Rabbi Jesus instructed his disciples to recall that they were not "of this world". And even Dale Carnegie pointed out to his students, that happiness "doesn't depend on who you are or what you have," but instead "solely upon what you think."
Several years back, I realised that the holiday season was a difficult time for me -- a time when the unfortunate loss of several loved ones unexpectedly occurred over the years... when the consumerism, greed and materialism of the media caused otherwise good people to become momentarily insane... a time when the passive-aggression of others became more apparent, as they were forced to come together at Nana's house, and exchange gifts once a year... and for me, a time when I was irritated by the ignorance and foolishness of those who refused to allow their intelligence and reasoning to prevail, and instead accepted a 5,000 year old myth, plagiarised by the authors of the Christian scriptures, almost a half-century after the death of the Great Teacher, as a literal story of virgin births, caves, angels and other events, alleged to have occurred in a town that didn't even exist at the time in which the story is set!
So I decided I was going to opt-out of the family gatherings.
I knew there would be some backlash: the tearful call from family members, the (failed) attempts of of dysfuntional family member to try and make me feel guilty, the emails from cousins, aunts and uncles. Oh well!
In 2005, I decided I would further opt-out of the gift exchanging tradition. Not that I refused to give something to loved ones... but that I would choose to give gifts to them whenever love moved me to do so, and with neither agenda, nor an expectation of receiving something in return.
The result has been the complete absence of stress, sadness, anxiety or depression at this time of year.
And that strategy will work with any trigger.
What matters most, as my dear friend Grainne points out is that "we have these feelings in order to give ourselves opportunity to slow down a tad and look within. If we don't, generally things get worse." She also adds, "(I)f one is feeling off, sad, depressed, (or) malcontent, take a moment to identify why. Sometimes just knowing is enough to be able to put that pain to rest and turn towards Light."
The purpose of the holiday season is to increase our mindfulness of the incarnate love... the indwelling joy that is our nature. This year, choose to become a more vibrant expression of that joy.
Whatever works for you, let it be celebrated. Whatever doesn't... whatever detracts from your sense of joy... let it go!
If you need to escape on December 24th, give me a call... I'll put the cider on the stove! Bring a sleeping bag and some pizza! We'll rediscover your joy!
Namasté!
Internationally respected, life coach and teacher, Lama Gurudas Sunyatananda (Dr. F. Gianmichael Salvato, O.C., M.Sc.) is a Buddhist and Franciscan contemplative, and author of the popular book, "The Dharma of Compassion - One Monk's Reflections on the Teachings of the Enlightened and Anointed Ones". He is best known for his on-going contributions to helping people unlock the power of their own minds -- teaching them how to apply that power to create strong, loving relationships, improve their financial situations, and live healthier, more meaningful, prosperous, health and satisfying lives.
Copyright ©2008, Dr. F. Gianmichael Salvato, All rights reserved. This article may be reproduced, blogged, quoted or distributed, provided the entire blog, including by-lines, contact information and this copyright remain intact. It may NOT be altered in any way, without express written permission.
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