The Lesson of Letting Go

A friend called me last week to express how frustrated he was with recent events in his business. It turned out that the “superstar” in whom he and his marketing team had placed much of their belief and reliance was little more than a two-bit grifter, who was arrested earlier in the month on multiple counts of felony theft, fraud, and operating a Ponzi scheme. “Mr. MLM” was being held on $8.8 million bail, and is looking at some significant jail time, if the allegations are sufficiently proven in court.

To make matter worse, my friend found out the the company “Mr. MLM” was promoting as “the next big entrepreneurial explosion”, was being run by a guy with a less than remarkable track-record, who screwed a lot of people out of their incomes in the last venture he ran… and now, the same guy repackaged his old product, changed the name of his new “deal”, and my friend found himself in a difficult spot of having to figure out a way to do what is the hardest thing for servant leaders… and that is to let his team know they’ve made a serious mistake, and need to regroup.

I know this man possesses the integrity, ethics and genuine concern for others that is causing him to suffer, because he is terrified that if he admits that they made a mistake, people will never believe him, when he tells them that an opportunity exists for them to get out of the “MLM game” and start a legitimate business venture with a team of industry pioneers in a completely different field.

The lesson my friend is in the process of learning is one that each of us has to learn – sometimes repeatedly – until we become mindful of it organically…

The Lesson of Letting Go

In the Buddhism and the Dharma of the Christ, we refer to this as “non-attachment”. And while we often think of it in terms of being attached to material possessions, it also includes attachment to emotions… including fear.

Our fear of change keeps us from moving into further stages of living.

Again, using my friend as an example, he is focused on what he perceives as the “good things” in his present business opportunity: a growing group with a decent potential for earnings for him and ostensibly, for those involved. But my friend has forgotten (or not realised) that every good thing in our lives was created by us. We create our own experiences in life. Therefore, his perceptions about the “good” that he imagines he will lose by doing the right thing is nothing more than a perception. No one and nothing can take away the “good”, because it is an organic and indwelling part of his nature.

Without a doubt, life takes courage to live fully. True satisfaction… true happiness does not depend on our ability to deny pain. Pain exists and is part of life. Suffering is optional. Surely, there have been some obstacles and set-backs in his sales team’s endeavours. And I would imagine that realising, as so many of us have realised, that we were taken advantage of by a smooth con-artist, who couches his schemes in the typically flowery verbiage of religion and philanthropy, stings a bit. Yet my friend and his team are bigger than any con artist, and their determination, spirit and passion for helping others can easily move them through that temporary pain, toward remarkable success.

We participate in making the obstacles what they are in our lives, and we must participate equally in letting them go, when it’s time to move on.

Whatever is not love is fear.

This process of letting go of fear is a process that empowers us to live with real mindfulness of the present. It’s not about some magical formula for asceticism, but about creating the “magic” that comes from being present in the moment, and allowing ourselves to embrace the challenges as they come, using them as fuel. “Consume life,” Tenzin Yangchen used to tell me, “or life will consume you!”

Master Thich Nhat Hanh reflects on the wonder of living in the moment and letting go this way:

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle, which we don’t even recognise.”

This world in which we live is filled with mystery and wonder. I sincerely hope my friend finds his way toward doing the right thing, because I know that it continues to gnaw at him, that he is continuing to allow folks to take a terrible chance with their financial futures, by staying with a company that is built upon quicksand.

When we quiet the mind and relax the senses, we can begin to see beyond the “perceptions” that are coloured by fear, and hear beyond the chatter of the mindless-ego (servant of fear), and at once, pain no longer frightens us, but compels us to move toward and through it, as a teacher encourages the student to move through the difficult equation, so that wisdom and mastery can be gained.

Even the Desert Fathers of Egypt understood the necessity of destroying the ego-self. Abba Alonius wrote: “By utterly destroying myself I was able to reconstruct and reshape myself into a new creation.” As the Jewish prophet wrote, “…the sycamores have been cut down, but we will put cedars in their place.” (Isaiah 9.10)

Be bold! Move forward! Recognise the fear that’s holding you back from doing the right thing and seize the moment! You don’t need a safety net… just move toward the pain, toward the fear… and watch what happens!

Namasté!

-- dharmacharya gurudas sunyatananda

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